My E-Mail To Marble Slab

So about a week ago, I was incredibly bored. When I'm incredibly bored, I tend to do things that most people would find embarassing or just plain silly. I sent an e-mail to the good people over at Marble Slab (you know, the ice cream company). I waited about a week or so for a reply and never got one. I'm not really surprised as it just screams "I'm bored and I feel like bugging people". I used an alias name and e-mail address that I will probably continue to use to entertain myself in the future. Here's that e-mail. If I ever get a reply, I will edit this post to include it, but my hopes are rather low at this point.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I would just like to express my gratitude to your company for providing such an essential, and not to mention delicious, service to my community with your finely crafted (and often finely sculpted) gourmet ice cream; and to mention how it has personally touched my life.
Not last weekend, I found myself walking aimlessly through my neighbourhood outdoor shopping metropolis after seeing a particularly unsettling 10pm showing of "MacGruber". All I could think about was how much I missed the days when my great uncle's hands could work well enough to create the incredible devices that MacGruber is so skillfully able to, and I got sad. While thinking about my great uncle, I remembered how much he liked ice cream with his birthday cake, but every time his birthday rolled around he could never afford to get both ice cream and birthday cake so he had to painfully choose between them. For the last three and a half years, we've celebrated his birthday twice a year because his dementia is setting in and he often forgets that we already celebrated his birthday.
Anyways, on this night, I wanted to cheer myself up by going to a particular franchise of Marble Slab and treat myself to an ice cream cone. Shockingly, before last weekend, I had never been to a Marble Slab establishment before and I was ecstaticly surprised by the immense variety and uniqueness of the options that were presented to me. Frankly, it took me nearly twenty-eight minutes of staring at all of my choices before the small-eyed girl behind the counter told me that I was holding up the line and that I should probably choose something soon. It was then that I noticed the Birthday Cake Ice Cream. I nearly cried.
I would like to thank you for creating such an innovative and ingenious ice cream flavour. I can't believe nobody has thought of combining ice cream and cake before. On my great uncle's next birthday (four weeks from Saturday) he will be getting a mounding dark chocolate waffle cone full of birthday cake ice cream with Skor bits and frozen raspberries mixed in. I have no doubt that he will be overjoyed, perhaps even enough to reverse his bone-loss and allow him to use his hands to finish his life-size model of the Blue Nose.
The reason I am writing is to make a polite creative suggestion. I think you should add another Tasty Creation to the board entitled "The Ultimate Uncle Angus" which would consist of the recipe I have mentioned above, obviously in honour of my dear Uncle Angus. You may feel free to credit me on the board as the inventor.
Please let me know if you want to incorporate this new treat as I need to know when I can inform my family, friends, and work colleagues of this development.

Sincerest Regards,
My Alias Name